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A MESSAGE
from
The Grand Vizier of Clan RunnyEye
by order of and being the Royal Mouthpiece of
His Most Feared Excellency and Ruler of Clan RunnyEye
to
The Miserable "King" Ak'Anon
and
The Rabble infesting Ak'Anon and its surrounds
erstwhile known as The Catagnomic Horde of Ak'Anon
O Most Small in Our Sight,
Having been charged by certain recent flagrant and infamous TREACHERY against our allies, the Kobolds, in Dark Odus to Nightward, I am therefore commanded to service in the name of my Most Powerful Father and Lord of the Underworld, may his Favorite Children prosper within Clan RunnyEye forever and ever.
The fruit of my effort being this COMMAND and communique which our Father Brell now sees fit to bless to His Wrathful Service and in so doing INSTRUCT His least favorite children, yea, even the afterthought of His loins, the Gnomish vermin. Your king shall, in his own person, now attend and grovel in humble beseechment before Our Person in the most MAGNIFICENT Citadel, thereby to receive this Moral Instruction and to make Woeful Amends for your spiteful and callous acts.
Do not think of sending your sniveling, weak-spined minions, whose very breath reeks of dainty flowers, whose hands have not known the work of a day and whose intellects, if that is what they may be called, are sadly incomplete and more fitting a common fly which savors chewing the excrement of My Person, who so cowardly attacked and SLAUGHTERED so many of our Ally's children in their nursery dens and otherwise ran amok and acted capriciously in a manner most VILE and loathsome. Any of these creatures that are found in our territory will be summarily executed as punishment for their PRESUMPTION.
Come yourself and come AT ONCE.
Your Master and the Favorite Son of Our Father,
The Most Enlightened and Terrible King RunnyEye
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